Mmmmmm....Those Tears Taste Good!

Today is a great day! The President’s Trophy winner (it’s better than the Stanley Cup you know) has been eliminated from playoff contention. I will never cheer against a team the way I cheer FOR the Penguins, but today the hate runs through my veins. The tears of the whiny Crapitals fans give me strength.


Let’s get to it:


To "the great 8"
Remember that tiny little statement you made at last year’s NHL awards? You know, the one where you guaranteed a Capitals Stanley Cup this year? Just in case you forgot: Here’s the clip.

How’s that workin’ out for ya home slice? Maybe if you try it again in Vegas this year it may just work. Or…there’s another option. Talk less shit and work harder. There’s a certain someone I know that could probably give you a few lessons said work ethic.


To the fans:
What brings an even bigger smile to my face is watching the obnoxious, band wagon, know nothing about hockey fans rock the red right off their backs. Aside from your own team winning it all, there is little that is more exciting than watching a loud fan of a hated rival eat their own words. All that bullshit from February on about how the Caps were destined to win the Stanley Cup and how it was as good as theirs was all just that…BULLSHIT! HA HA HA!

I am sure you Caps fans will come back with such silly things as “the Pens were too afraid to play us”, or “you would have lost” or “we still swept you this season”. All can be easily countered by a few simple comebacks:

“HA FUCKIN HA! YOUR TEAM MADE HISTORY THE OTHER NIGHT! THEY CHOKED HARDER THAN ANY OTHER #1 SEED IN NHL HISTORY!!! NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY OR WHAT YOU BELIEVE, REMEMBER THAT.”

Or

“REMEMBER THAT NO MATTER WHAT THE PENS DO FOR THE REST OF THE PLAYOFFS, YOUR UNSTOPPABLE JUGGERNAUT OF OFFENSIVE TALENT, YOUR PRESIDENT’S TROPHY WINNER LOST; IN THE FIRST ROUND; TO THE EIGHTH SEED.”

What a great day.

Now, it’s time to get focused. Thank you Habs for what you have done for us Penguins fans. However, nothing lasts forever, and you are now the enemy. Get ready to meet a more balanced and all around grittier team, and we’ll see who comes out on top.

DO IT!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!